I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
