well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Holy sore nipples Batman
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
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