p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
