i permit you to call me
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
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