this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
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