Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
