Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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