I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
