In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize