farters have to be the big spoon...
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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