I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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