I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
They took my balls.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
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