what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
