Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Randomize
