Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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