Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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