Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
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