My girlfriend figured out who you are.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
