She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
home. puking in laundry basket.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
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So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
He felt like a one man threesome
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
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Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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