Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
