Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
