Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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