i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize
