I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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