I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Randomize
