FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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