my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
