i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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