You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
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