I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
