I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
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