he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.