11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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