then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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