This girl is more easily done than said...
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
