nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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