Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Randomize
