Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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