1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
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I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
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And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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