Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Randomize
