I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
