tell your sister to shave her snatch
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
