i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
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