and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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