What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
