Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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