so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
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