Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
