this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
two words...techno handjob
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
