they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Randomize
