oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
