marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Randomize
