their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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