The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
