i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
he puts the penis in happiness.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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