All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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