she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
