the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Randomize
