two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
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