This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
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she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
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I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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