the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
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