What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
