I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Randomize
