That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
