At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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