I faked an abortion last night.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
be right there i have to get my cape
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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