Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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