Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Randomize
