she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Randomize
